Inside the mind of a monster
by theavengers4ever
Summary: Thor finds Loki's diary and reads it in hopes of finding out why his brother is like what he is


**Hey guys! just another little stories. I don't own anything, but if I did...Evil stuff would happen.**

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Loki was never good at expressing his emotions through words, so he turned to a journal. He had hidden it in the one place that no one would ever find it, except himself. Luckily his mother had sent it accidentally with a large bag of books.

But one time during one of Thor's visits, Loki was asleep. Thor opened the cell door and scanned the room. Most of the back wall was covered with a large book shelf, then he noticed a peculiar one.

It was a different size than the others, plus it leather, all of his brothers book covers were paper. Thor walked toward the book and looked at the title. small golden text read "Loki's journal" Thor's eyes widened, he had no idea his brother had a diary.

The thunder-god was tempted to read it, but if Loki found out he would never have a chance of getting his brother back. Thor thought of what he should do.

"Just the first page" Thor had muttered, carefull not to wake Loki up. Thor opened the book to the first page that had Loki's handwriting. He then began to read.

"_I should have known Father never would have chose me as king. It's not that I'm not glad for Thor, it's just...I feel that I should be king. I remember Father saying that we were both born to be kings, but when does my time come? when will I rule? I have many questions but I don't know how to ask. I'm trying my hardest not to be jealous, but I'm failing."__  
_

As Thor finished reading he quickly looked behind him to see if Loki was up, he wasn't. Thor wanted to read more, but felt he shouldnt. He pushed himself to turn the page.

_"I find my self in awe at what Thor did. Attack Jotunheim! He's such an idiot! We would all be dead if Father hadn't shown up. A poor act for a king it was. But Thor doesn't care, he was in a lust for blood. And now he's banished to Midgard, Is this my time to rule?. But that's not the only thing that happened this day. I heard someone yell out not to touch the Jotun, One touched me, instead of a burning sensation like what I was expecting, There was no change. The armor on my arm broke off, then the skin turned to a shade of blue on the Jotun's touch. It can't be what I think it is, mabey I'm just immune? It has to be that."_

As Thor finished yet another page, he couldn't belive he hadn't kept a closer look on his brother, If that damn Jotun hadn't have been there. Loki was right, he had been on a blood lust. The thunderer turned the page again in curiosity.

"_It is what I feared, I am one of them. I'm overflowing with emotion. I'm furious, yet saddened, Dead, yet more alive than ever. Why didnt Fa-Odin, tell me sooner, I am so confused. My life was all a lie. Odin isn't my Father, Thor isn't my brother, and mother. Why didn't Mother tell me? She had to know too right? I have been kept in the dark all this time. But Odin has fallen into the Odinsleep, That means I am king now. I should feel happy, ecstatic, though all I feel is sad."_

Thor could see why Loki was upset. He too had a dislike of Odin now. "Why didnt you tell him sooner Father?" he thought to himself. Another page was turned.

_"I traveled to Midgard to break the news to Thor, Contrary to his belief, I hated lying to my brother, no, he's not my brother, I have to remember that. With every word I said I felt, for lack of a better word, odd. As I left I stopped at_ Myjolnir**(I don't know how to spell that)** _I knew that I couldn't be worthy, I was a monster. And I was proved right. As I made my leave I thought about my decision. I wanted desperately to go back and take Thor back to Asgard with me, but when he found out he would never be my brother again, I was a monster."_

At this point Thor wanted to run over to Loki and hug him, yell into his ear that he was still his brother, That blood didn't matter, that he would always be his brother no matter what. Thor brought himself to turn the page.

"_The Frost Giants will soon arrive in Asgard, I must take care of Heimdall. Odin is going to die, he deserves it. Only now am I realizing fully what I am doing. And I know Mother would be disappointed, I sent the Destroyer to kill my own brother! NO! he isn't my brother! he's just Thor now. And Odin, my so-called Father. I allowed Laufey into Asgard to kill him. I cant do this! with the Destroyer it's probably to late, but I can still save Odin, Father"_

Thor's eyes started to water, if he had changed then, why can't he change now? what happened to Loki to make him take over Earth? Thor turned the page, only to find no writing, he turned another, then another, and kept doing that until he saw a page that had writing.

"_I'm sorry"_

Thor read the words with surprise. He turned around to see Loki sitting up on his bed, staring at Thor.

"Loki! please don't be mad brother!" Thor pleaded.

"I'm not mad Thor" Loki said calmly. "I'm sorry...Brother" Loki said, his eyes starting to water. Thor ran over to his brother and strongly hugged him. Loki returned the embrace and they sat there, each about to cry.


End file.
